Urban Meyer can still remember how he felt upon being hired and the hope he held for a winning Jaguars franchise. He can still recall the visions he had of a packed house that he would help fill.While he believes it will all come eventually for Jacksonville and owner Shad Khan, he just won't be the one to make it a reality.Meyer shortly after midnight on Thursday morning following a 2-11 start to his lone NFL season that was and on and off the field.In an exclusive interview with NFL.com, Meyer spoke publicly for the first time since his firing and expre sed his disappointment in how his Jacksonville tenure unfolded."I just apologize to Jacksonville," Meyer said Columbus Blue Jackets T-Shirt over the phone on Friday from Florida. "I love Jacksonville. It's one of the reasons I took the job. I still think Shad's a great owner. It's heart-breaking. I just had a dream of it becoming a destination place with a new facility he agreed to build and some day to walk into that stadium where it's standing room only. Because I know how bad the people of Jacksonville want it. So, I'm just heartbroken that we weren't able to do that. I still believe it's going to be done. It's too good of a place."In the 23-minute-long interview, Meyer said he was "devastated," denied all accusations made against him in his final days, explained why he benched star running back against the Rams and detailed where it got away on the field.Meyer, one of the most succe sful college coaches in history, but who lost Pavel Bure Jersey more NFL games in his first four weeks with the Jags (4) than he had in any single college season since 2007, also admitted that proce sing losing football games is a challenge he's yet to work through."I tell people, losing eats away at your soul," Meyer said. "Once you start losing, it's hard on everybody. I thought at one point, when we won two out of three, there was some momentum, great energy, the defense was really playing well. We were running the ball and then when that dried up on us, then we started turning the ball over. We had that bye week and then James Robinson gets Ondrej Palat Jersey hurt."From that point, the offense stopped working.Meyer's frustration and angst were perfectly encapsulated in his with his former a sistant, Titans coach Mike Vrabel, as it appeared Meyer wanted to be anywhere but there, after the Jaguars were in what would be Meyer's final game with Jacksonville."Someone asked me about Vrabel's handshake , we're really close," Meyer said. "That had nothing to do with him. That's probably one of my i sues why I've thought some of the things I said: I can't take losing. I try to accept it, it just eats away at my soul. And I believe our players deserve better."When Meyer was fired, he had four years left on his contract. The Jaguars terminated him for cause, per a source. Asked if there is an ongoing discu sion with Jacksonville over his contract, Meyer declined comment. He also declined comment on if Khan made the right move. In , Khan said, "I am bitterly disappointed to arrive at the conclusion that an immediate change is imperative for everyone."Asked what he'll do next, Meyer said, "To be determined." He has not heard from anyone in the coaching world about a po sible job.Meyer was fired with a 2-11 record and the Jaguars at , but i sues with Meyer's tenure had been building for months.In October, Meyer stayed in Ohio and did not fly back with the team after a " " lo s Daniel Sedin Jersey to the Bengals, and was then with a young woman, who is not his wife, dancing close to his lap. Khan sent out a tersely worded statement saying the behavior was "inexcusable."Last Saturday, NFL.com's Tom Peli sero within Meyer's operation, including team captain leaving the facility due to Meyer's public and private criticism, the benching of Robinson, and Meyer delivering a biting me sage that he's a winner and his a sistant coaches are losers, challenging each coach individually to explain when they've ever won.This week, there was a report from The Tampa Bay Times quoting former Jags kicker Josh Lambo, who while Lambo was stretching during a preseason practice.To NFL.com, Meyer said the incident with Jones was not accurately portrayed (Jones ), denied the incident with coaches and said the altercation with Lambo did not happen. According to a source, two players who saw the Lambo incident unfold discu sed it with a Jaguars executive and described a different version of events."It was like, 'Wait a minute, where is this coming from?'" Meyer said. "I've certainly made a few mistakes but those weren't right."As for benching Robinson, which left one of the NFL's best running backs on the sideline for an extended period of time against the Tom Kuhnhackl Women Jersey Rams and which later invoked , Meyer said the delay in getting the second-year RB back in the game was due to poor communication."We discu sed it as a staff," Meyer said. "'When you see someone lose the ball or even see them be loose with the ball, get them out of the game, get their mind right and then get them back in.' When he fumbled, I said, 'Take him out.' We took him out and then we had lack of communication about when to put him back in. Taylor Hall Jersey "Robinson and Meyer exchanged texts after he was fired, and Meyer described their relationship as "great."Robinson wasn't his only star. In his rookie season, Lawrence -- one of the reasons Meyer took the job -- has struggled. Lots of talent and promise, but also a completion percentage of 58.2%, 14 interceptions against nine touchdowns, and a pa ser rating of 68.9.Meyer was asked if he believes Lawrence will be a succe sful pro."He's going to be great," Meyer said. "He's 22 years old, thrust into a place that lost 15 straight games. He had some devastating injuries to his offensive skill guys -- went down and , then and then our TE . Those are our fast guys. And we had enough (talent), I'm not blaming that, but we had to be more creative. I just think we could've done better. But there is zero doubt Trevor is going to be a great NFL quarterback."